While trying to control my wild two year old who woke me up two hours before it was necessary I turned on the television and prepared to consume my morning coffee, ESPN. I stared mindlessly at the screen as my daughter played her electronic toy keyboard. Thanks to whomever purchased that torture device. As I struggled to hear the television a story caught my attention. A tennis player by the name of Nick Kyrgios was in hot water for some trash talk that was caught on the court mic. My attention was captured as I imagined the horrible thing he must have uttered. He was quoted saying, “Kokkinakis banged your girlfriend. Sorry to tell you that, mate.” My first reaction was, “Did he say anything else?” There had to be something more to create such a media scrum. After reading a few articles about Nick he seems like a player that can’t keep his cool, which means that part of your brain that censors a lot of us probably doesn’t work too well in his case. Besides his past transgressions did this story really need to be on ESPN?
For those of you who played sports growing up understand the trash talk that occurs between opponents. During these verbal exchanges players try to intimidate, infuriate and entice you to lose your cool. The conversations could be described as insensitive, abusive and at times racist. Even I have said things on the football field that would shock a lot of my family and friends. Nothing is off limits. Even my mom was called names on the football field, which led to me calling someone after a racial slur. I experienced these things during high school and I can only imagine what it must be like in college and at the professional levels.
Sports is great. I’m pro sports and I hope my kids will get involved in athletics. However, I also understand the dirty side of sports. The verbal abuse and sometimes the physical attacks you put on your opponent that in the real world would be considered an assault. Some of these activities are things fans don’t want to know about and if they find out about it they are disgusted by the the uncivilized way the game is being played.
Can you stop or control trash talk?
No. If you have ever been in competition especially when there is a lot riding on the game emotions are usually running high. Little things are magnified, which means slights though unintentional become mountains. In addition, for those sports that require physical contact players use anger and sometimes hate as fuel to play. For example, when I was playing football I’d try to imagine someone I hated in the opponents jersey and use that visualization to get me into an aggressive state of mind. Think about the best rivalries in sports. Red Sox and Yankees. Celtics and Lakers. Steelers and Ravens. Alabama and Auburn.
Why were those games considered great?
Both teams hate each other and because of that the level of competition would be raised. Players would do more to gain every inch and score every point. Not just to win but to destroy their rival. Their enemy. Can you imagine what we’d hear on the playing field. I can tell you their not holding back any verbal punches.
So should we stop trash talking?
My gut reaction is no. We should allow players to govern themselves in this matter. If someone is talking trash and it crosses the line then allow the opposing players deal with it on the field. Whether it be hitting someone harder in football or plunking them on the thigh. If trash talkers are dealt with on the field it may stop them from talking again or better yet, just win.
What can we do as parents?
I think as a parent it starts with the caregiver. Whomever is caring for that athlete needs to teach their children what is acceptable trash talk. This also means reflecting on ourselves and how we as adults talk with children especially during competition or play. It’s also important to teach our children that trash talking will happen and when it does how to deal with the natural emotions that will emerge. How can they deal with their anger in a productive way that helps achieve their athletic goal.
What do you think? Is trash talking necessary in sports? And what is crossing the line?
Here is an article on the greatest trash talker of all time.
Michael Jordan: 19 Awesome Stories About Michael Jordan’s Trash Talking
Here is ESPN’s version of the Top 10 Trash Talkers
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