If you grew up in Hawaii or have lived there for a considerable amount of time you’ve probably heard the phrase “talk story”. Locals use this when they want to get to know you better. They’ll probably share with you who they are and where they come from. You may be uncomfortable at first but they’re not trying to be nosy. All they want is to make a connection through family, education or employment, etc. Once a connection is made then a relationship can be built. For relationships that are older, talking story allows old friends and distant family members to reconnect with each other. Talking story is so embedded in our culture that a local musical group actually wrote a song years back called “Lets Talk Story“.

Talking story can also help others learn lessons from the failures and success of others. It’s what I use when I try to teach my 5 year old a life lesson or to encourage a college student contemplating dropping out of school. Stories are every where and are told through every medium imaginable. It is what unites and divides us in the world.  What we share is also a reflection on who we are.

Why do we share certain life stories and remember specific things within them?

This question is what I hope to answer in a series of stories I’ll write every 2 weeks. My narratives will be personal life experiences or those that I’ve heard second hand that have made an impact on my life. After sharing I’ll reflect on the lessons that can be learned from it and why I’ve shared it.

If you ask my wife she’ll tell you that I’m a story teller. I love to talk and share my whole life story. There isn’t much I’m shame of sharing even if it makes me look bad. One such story is how I screwed up my Junior Prom.

Junior Prom

I stared at my phone hoping to use telekinesis to dial a phone number I had gathered through a second hand source. My hands seemed to be sweating endlessly as I force myself to pick up the phone as my mind debated with itself.

Why am I nervous? What’s the worse thing that can happen? She could say no. That’s pretty bad. Maybe I shouldn’t call. Is it too late?

These thoughts overwhelmed me as I tried to muster the courage to ask a girl to the Junior Prom. Now this wasn’t just any girl it was “the” girl. She was someone I had a crush on since I began high school. I had spoken to her for short periods of time but nothing I’d consider substantial. I spoken to her enough to know that she didn’t have a boyfriend, which meant she could be dateless for the Prom.

I took a deep breath and picked up the phone. It took me a dozen times until I finally punched in the digits. The ringing in my ear seemed to jump start my heart as adrenaline pumped through my veins. With the fight or flight response kicking in I try to sit down and keep still. My leg shakes uncontrollably until someone answers the phone. Is it her?

At this point of the story I’m not sure if she answered or if someone else did but once she was on the phone I was a almost out of air. I didn’t know I was holding my breath when I finally replied, “Hi !@#$%. This is Keola. From class. I’m calling to find out if you had a date for the prom. Oh, you don’t. So, I wanted to also ask if you wouldn’t mind going to the prom with me? No pressure. If you don’t want to go with me I understand.” I surprisingly got through my pitch and shockingly she said yes. I must have been put into a temporary state of shock because after her response I quickly said thank you and hung up. No small talk. Just goodbye.

For a few minutes I stared into nothingness trying to figure out if I had just imagined her answer. Maybe I didn’t hear her correctly. Maybe I should call her back. Of course I didn’t and instead I went to bed wondering, “What do I do now?”

Once I was back in school and sitting in class I came up with a ridiculous plan. I would wait for her to talk to me. If she talked to me about prom then I knew I hadn’t been mistaken and then I could start planning our prom date together. But what if she didn’t? I never thought about that and well she never talked to me about the prom and so I was left without a date as she decided to go with someone else who had asked her. I had dropped the ball and even though she was kind enough to help me find a date the prom wasn’t the experience I had hoped for. It didn’t help that my date ended up leaving with her boyfriend, which I don’t blame her for because I wasn’t really being a fun date. I would have left myself.

I love telling this story because it usually gets a good laugh from people and it reminds me of the opportunities that we can squander when we lack the confidence in ourselves. Looking back I wonder what high school would have been like if I had realized sooner that I wasn’t fat and ugly. I wasn’t movie star handsome but I wasn’t a troll either. I know I would have gone out on more dates if possible and I sure would have talked to girls without swimming in my own sweat.

Moral of the story?

Sometimes you can be your worse enemy. So just get out of the way.