How the past six years taught me that the best life isn’t always good.
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Recently my oldest daughter just turned six years old and with every year she blows out the candles I can’t help but reflect on the past. In doing so I’ve concluded that the past six years have been the best of my life. I have three healthy daughters that bring both joy and purpose into my life. I have a Master’s degree, which is a miracle since I grew up believing I wasn’t smart enough to get through a four year college let alone graduate school. I’ve lived in places like Oregon where I supported underrepresented college students at a university where they were in need of support. I’ve been blessed to have traveled throughout the United States and learn from the best college advisers in the nation. My writing has been published and shared by more people then I’d every thought would care about my work.
Life is good, however, my highlights of the past six years are just that, highlights. They don’t capture the nuance of my life experience. With every bright spot there are times of heartbreak and failure. I’ve had to deal with losing my childhood home that I wasn’t able to save. I’ve failed to get accepted into a Ph.D. program that would have led me down the path of one of my passions, which is teaching. I have been sucked into the darkness of depression and I’ve had to battle with suicidal thoughts.
The point I’m trying to make is that the best years of our lives aren’t made up exclusively of good times. The best life is filled with peaks and valleys that bring us to our knees and in the best case scenario they teach us a lesson that creates a fundamental change in who we are. So don’t try to avoid the path of least resistance. Do things that make you happy and not what will be easy. Don’t allow the valleys to dictate whether or not your life is at it’s best because those lows are as natural as the landscape on the face of the earth. You can’t avoid them. All you can do is hike past and get up on that mountain. Once you do, those high moments will taste only sweeter.
Dear Keola – I just wanted to express my gratitude to you for creating this blog and die being so real with all of us. I have suffered the pain of suicidal thoughts and behavior also. In fact, I was in that terrifying place when I was very young; in fact, I had five very serious suicide attempts by age 12. At age 61 the memories of being that way still haunt me, but they do not overpower me.
Anyway, I just wanted to write to thank you. Don’t believe those dark lies that pop up inside your mind from time to time. You have everything to live for, and you’ll have even more one day when you have granddaughters!
Your brother and friend,
Dave